Welcome to Haiku Monday, where Fish Hack is firing in from North Dakota, where the Outdoor Writers Association of America is terrorizing the good people of Bismarck in the name of professional development.
Four hundred Fish Hacks
In one hotel for a week.
Rest of world is safe.
For Haiku Monday virgins, this is the day that Fish Hack busts out a few non-rhymes about the outdoors in haiku fashion. First line’s five syllables, second is seven and the third is five syllables. No rhymes for one reason – share some yucks about the outdoors in strictly syllabic fashion.
The OWAA is one of the few organizations in North America that will accept people like the Fish Hack, who has been a member in bad standing since 1993. Part of the trip is a piece how North Dakotans treat their version of the Lewis and Clark story like it’s all that matters, and that the Corps of Discovery team’s exploits in Oregon don’t matter.
The piece runs June 26. Check it out.
So fellow Oregon hack Pat Wray of Corvallis joins me on a jaunt down the MO. It’s wide and lazy and shallow ... kinda like Pat.
Anyway, it’s a couple steelhead fishermen trying to toss hardware at walleye, which are revered in pothole country. They love their walleye as much as they love their four-door pickups, bird dogs and bad beer.
Miller, Coors or Bud.
Don’t you got a microbrew
In this flat-#### state?
So Fish Hack manages to catch and release the smallest walleye east of the Rocky Mountains. Even so, the thing’s got serious teeth.
We paddled 24 miles down the MO, using the old North Dakota fish-finder system …paddle until you come across a bunch of dudes in boats fishing, then join them. They all looked at us like we were idiots. They were right, of course, but not for the reasons they believed.
We’re idiots who needed a good canoe shot to go with Fish Hack’s Lewis and Clark story, and Lewis and Clark didn’t have a Bayliner.
Hey, you on the MO:
We like your home waters fine.
But where’s the steelhead?
Don't worry. I'll still be coming home with some protein. I brought my filet knife and vacuum-sealer ... for the mosquitos.
Also caught a big-ol’ catfish and a 5-pound carp. Trade it all for a Rogue River summer steelhead any day.
